Game: Days Of Thunder
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Developer: Beam Software
Release Date: 1990
I have a confession to
make: I'm one of the few people born in Western Europe who actually
likes NASCAR. But it could easily have been so different.
One of the first racing
games I ever played purported to be a representation of NASCAR in
virtual form, bringing all the visceral action to your living room.
But all I remember feeling whilst playing it as an 8-year-old was;
boredom, frustration, more boredom, confusion, what am I supposed to
be doing, what the hell is this garbage, sod this, throw cartridge
across room and play Super Mario Bros instead.
When a game literally
lives up to the most popular insult hurled at NASCAR - 'ITS JUST
REDNECKS TURNING LEFT!!' - then you know you've got a dire game on
your hands.
The game is a movie
tie-in to the famously cheesy film, so based on the testosterone
packed Top-Gun-on-wheels source material, there's potential for two
kinds of game to emerge; either a racing simulator like the primitive
8-bit world had never seen, or an arcade style crashfest.
I can only assume that
they aimed for the former and missed by miles.
You play as the main
character, Cole Trickle, although beyond a cutscene before every race
the connection is tenuous at best. You could easily be playing the
game as a trained monkey taking part in a scientific experiment -
which given the chronically repetitive gameplay and visuals is
actually quite plausible.
Days of Blunder goes for
a 3D-scrolling type effect with the track which actually works better
than the 'Outrun' style common amongst most 8-bit videogames of the
time, which felt more like you were sat on a kid's toy car in a
supermarket as moving scenery was fired at your face.
So at least this game actually feels like you are driving a fast car around a track, in a sort of Micro Machines way. But that's about it. The tracks are bland bowls with no grandstands, scenery or anything to even differentiate them from each other bar the number of times you turn left. Yup, turns out NASCAR really is nothing but turning left a few times if this game to be believed. And you know a game is in dire straights (no pun intended) when the only notable difference in setting is the changing colour of the sky (from blue to lurid pink, making everything look like a boring acid trip).
So at least this game actually feels like you are driving a fast car around a track, in a sort of Micro Machines way. But that's about it. The tracks are bland bowls with no grandstands, scenery or anything to even differentiate them from each other bar the number of times you turn left. Yup, turns out NASCAR really is nothing but turning left a few times if this game to be believed. And you know a game is in dire straights (no pun intended) when the only notable difference in setting is the changing colour of the sky (from blue to lurid pink, making everything look like a boring acid trip).
But at least the game is
challenging, right?
Yes, but only because
the controls feel like they were coded by someone who doesn't
actually know how a car works. And has clearly never seen a NASCAR
race in their life.
Release the accelerator
button, and the car doesn't slow down - you stay at a consistent
speed until you tap the brake button once, where the speed continues
to decrease until you hit the accelerator again which freezes your
speed again. Seems 1980s stock cars had atrocious cruise control -
who knew? And here's the clincher: NASCAR is all about skilfully
balanced throttle and brake control at high speed. But driving like
this is impossible with such broken controls, particularly combined
with the side-scrolling steering. That's a nice car you got there Mr
Trickle (fnar), it'd be a shame if it got beaten up by hitting the
outside wall...again. And again. And again.
If you manage to wrestle
your car around, the racing against AI cars is quite exciting in an
8-bit kind of way. You have five faceless onscreen rivals in every
race, plus your two movie opponents, Rowdy Burns and Russ Wheeler -
so that's already more AI opponents than Gran Turismo had for many
years. Burns and Wheeler are a) in cars which bare as much
resemblance to their film cars as a broken pencil does to Kate Moss,
and b) absolutely impossible to beat. No, seriously. Bays of Chunder
is definitely a game rooted in the arcade mentality of smacking you
in the face with ridiculously hard difficulty then laughing at you
and demanding more quarters. Both Burns and Wheeler scroll
side-to-side relentlessly when you try to pass them, like Space
Invaders meets Whacky Races, so unless you put in a miracle
qualifying lap and get pole, forget trying to overtake them in a
race.
But wait, I hear you
cry. What about Harry Hogge's famous quote from the film? 'Rubbin',
son, is racin''. Well that's as may be in real life, but good luck
trying that in this game. The chewing-gum tyres start to deteriorate
after a couple of laps, making turning even more frustrating, and
your car screams and looses all speed at the slightest touch of
another car. And all of this leads me to the absolute nadir of this
game. You think 'okay, my tyres are shot, I'm nearly out of fuel, I
need to pit'.
So you pull down to the
pits, whereupon your pit crew stare blankly at you.
Unlike EVERY SINGLE
RACING GAME EVER MADE EVER, you have to MANUALLY control EVERY
INDIVIDUAL MEMBER of your pit crew. You mash the B button to select
ONE tyre guy at a time and make them change the tyres ONE AT A TIME -
wait, he's refusing to do it because the car isn't jacked up. So you
mash A desperately, and the jack guy folds his arms and does nothing.
You have to DIRECT him to the jack with the D-pad before he'll do his
ONE MENIAL TASK. And for some stupid reason, the fuel guy won't
refuel your car if it's jacked up. I've still yet to work out what
the random guy with the spanner does.
Switching from
high-speed driving to pulling teeth in the pits with your stubborn
gorillas 2-3 times every race kills all sense of flow, and ruins any
good work you may have achieved out on track. The potential is there
in this gameplay mechanic to stand on its own as a mobile game, but
in Nays of Wonder it's head-bangingly frustrating.
If you claim to have
overcome the broken controls, flimsy car, aggressive AI and your own
belligerently stupid pit crew and somehow aced this game with
victories across the board, then well done to you - I'd rather use
all that time and patience to play a better designed and more
enjoyable game to be honest. Admittedly at the time there weren't
many alternatives, but in 2014 we now have the luxury of choice -
NASCAR 07 for the PS2 is perhaps the pick of the console NASCAR
bunch.
In conclusion, it occurs
to me that this game could be the sole reason so many people in
Europe hate NASCAR, and in truth it could almost have had the same
effect on me. There were many potential NASCAR fans traumatised by
this shoddy excuse for a videogame. My heart goes out to them -
nobody should have to suffer this. Please, dismiss this from your
mind and give NASCAR another chance. Because this game is about as
accurate a simulation of NASCAR as my drunk karaoke is to Adele.
Wait, bad example.
(Nay's) Rating: 23/100
Grade: F
Grade: F
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